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Songs For Topical Use

by Neil Conway

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Beautiful Vegan Girl I love that vegetarian girl she's my sweet potato pie, the apple of my heart avocado of my eye my gluten duck ducky of joy the woman of my whirl Imagine this plain ol' country boy with that beautiful vegan girl Will I ever get her? Vegetarian girl Will I ever get her into my world? Would it be any better vegetarian vegetarian vegetarian vegetarian? I want that beautiful vegan girl but I fear she's far too fickle Like an expensive condiment I'm in a mango of a pickle The pathway to her artichoke makes my heart grow gay But if I don't stop eating meat I may never get my way, so I went downtown, bought some vegetables, gumboed the gumption to call her up So sophisticated and able I'm all boc choyed and asparagussied up
Crackers and Sardines I am hungry tonight but I'm doing alright Yes the money is tight but I'm keen I was getting fat but forget about that 'cause soon I'll be sexy and lean No I can't pay the rent so I live in a tent I was given tentatively Out here in the woods the living is good and I'm loving my crackers and sardines Crackers and sardines, crackers and sardines Calcium, calories, protein Crackers and sardines, crackers and sardines Tomorrow is a whole new can of beans Crackers and sardines, crackers and sardines Them oily ol’ omega 3s Crackers and sardines, crackers and sardines Tomorrow is a whole new can of beans I slide in at night by the guide of moonlight No it's not much for sight but it's free I have neighbours nearby but I never say hi 'cause I value my sweet privacy I am new on the scene so I'm keepin' it clean Layin' low if you know what I mean Welcome to my estate, brush the leaves off your plate and stay for some crackers and sardines Crackers and sardines, crackers and sardines...
The Other Side of the Track We're going over to the other side of the track and there's only two ways that'll take you back So you best get to knowing just where they're at You don't wanna wind up in a trap Being big and breezy can be really hard You try to take it easy but you end up scarred Now you're too busy with your business card I think you turned around too far So watch your back but don't get your back up pick that slack up that stuff could stack up There's only so far you can walk up a hill But you keep on climbing to the highest thrill And still you stay to play until you start coming down that hill I've never been a person who plays it safe I can take it further at a slower pace I never look at living like a motor race but I give in to go for a chase
Online Arguing I’m spending too much time on the internet tryin’ to get some bits to make some sense When at the end of it, I always will regret Those nasty hateful bickering comments I keep reading it even though I get upset It’s all so controversial and intense There’s anger and confusion, ignorance and lies It’s no surprise with online arguments Online arguing Online arguing I read an article about the Middle East The least that I could leave was my two cents You see I believe in peace, but to my disbelief it seems to be a federal offense They called me lots of names of which I won’t repeat and on and on and on with this nonsense Thumbs were pointing down ‘till my words could not be found within the sound of online arguments Online arguing Online arguing Sitting all alone, boiling in my head Angry at some folks that I can’t see Whatever comes across inside of what is said Doesn’t come across as you or me Exclamation this with CAPITALS INSTEAD of the lower key I like to be If my fingertips are sharp and to the point At what point do you think we will agree?
White Pride 03:03
White Pride White pride, white power, What's all this about white survival? All a pile of baloney phoney science and twisted bible So down down with your power wherever it may be found Down with white power May your grand children be brown Afraid of looks and languages when what you should really fear is how you KKK kids are getting more inbred every year You act so tough and scary hiding behind your mask Are you brave? -not very You carry out cowardly tasks Though I may stand against you I wish you all the best May kindness shine within your mind May hatred forever rest
Kindergarten in Iraq He is just a kid who cannot even spell his name Picture books and bedtime stories haven’t been the same Since daddy disappeared and all the scary soldiers came Staring out the window wondering who he should blame Now his homework isn’t done. What a little brat He felt like studying since before the first attack He was left behind and then they held him back For another year of kindergarten in Iraq He doesn’t understand why all these people came to fight Nightmares and loud noises make for many sleepless nights He’ll have to suck it up ‘cause this is gonna be his life There’s even people on my street who said it would be right Now his homework isn’t done… It’s not an easy time for a learning mind Searching through the rubble of a haunted past to find A better way, some hopeful sign Beyond this chaos by design Now his homework isn’t done…
Gee Thanks 03:46
Gee Thanks I don't have a dollar but I do have a loan I pay no bother 'cause I don’t have a phone Hey Mr speaker Won’t you cover my fare I’m nearly as needy as a poor billionaire They bailed out the banks Gee thanks Private profit Public debt We little people gonna pay you can bet The big ones are too big so they're making them bigger They prop 'em up when they should chop 'em up! Go figure. They bailed out the banks Gee thanks Over in Cypress you would not believe what troika bankers have up their sleeve Once you deposit there's no guarantee They got the money and you get auisterity They bailed out the banks Gee thanks Down at the crime scene You will see the usual suspect usury Money changers ain't a changin' Where the hell is Jesus Christ when you need him? They bailed out the banks Gee thanks All of the betters are calling the bluff The jiggy is up The titty is tough Where did the milk go they promised to give? Fat cats have no answer to give They bailed out the banks Gee thanks They screwed up this time So what is their reward? Anything they ask for is all we can afford Look at the homeless They can have the blame They’re just little people In a big people game They bailed out the banks Gee thanks Forget about the bills can you spare a dime? We ain’t in the money And we ain’t on time There's no rhyme or reason But the treason is clear the dawn of a brand new season is near
The Bureaucratic Blues You can't come in this way please use the other door No you can't come in this way please use the other door If this entrance ain’t for me, just who is it for? You’ll have to take a number, stand on the right and form a line You’ll have to take a number, stand on the right and form a line When you’re the only one who’s waiting just how do you form a line? I got the bureaucratic blues. I pay my mind and I loose I got the bureaucratic blues. I pay my mind and I loose What might be right for you, ain't for you to choose If you're red, go ahead. If you're blue you know what to do I said if you're red go ahead. If you're blue you know what to do You can forget it purple people. The rules say you'll be screwed ‘Cause if you slide in the slot then you win. If you don't then you lose If you slide in the slot then you win. If you don't then you lose You can keep your cookie cutter. I'm another with the bureaucratic blues I got the bureaucratic blues…
Hey Little Buddy Hey little buddy. We'll show ‘em I’m gonna write you a poem and if that poem's terrible I’m gonna write you a parable and if that parable ain't true I’m gonna write you a haiku and if that haiku gets too long I’m gonna turn it into a song and if that song's a pile of crap I’m gonna write you a gangster rap and if I can’t flow in the zone I’m gonna make you a ring tone and if that ring tone don't bling you ain't getting anything
I wish that war was over To you the battle starter, when will your deed be done? You make a mighty martyr of a lonely mother's son Now the conflict doesn't end How will your peace be won? How do you make a friend at the barrel of a gun? I wish that war was over I wish that war was over Who are you to judge with your deeds of pain and terror? You point a crooked finger without looking in the mirror All the death and suffering that the innocent endure will not make you or me or anybody more secure I wish that war was over... The world on television makes everything so near We watch it at an angle spangled in fear But you can point them out those selfish hateful lies We're walking through a fog We're in for a surprise I wish that war was over... There's no moral to the story but there's money to be made The ones who want destruction are the ones who will be paid When business starts ka-booming they can-always find a loan if there's monetary value in that military zone I wish that war was over this has gone on for too long I wish there was no reason for this song this may not be quite what you were looking for but as long as you are listening this about that war I wish that war was over!
Greenery 03:33
Greenery You can stare. You can point at me Call it fair, well it's annoying me You got eyes? So do I. So why? Laugh and poke fun at me at the half or the one of me I'm there when you're done with me Like a seed in the breeze That’ll be in the leaves making plans You can shove or you can lean on me I'm a dove in your scenery Be you mean or be you seen with me You can kick. You can punch at me Use a stick. Make a lunch of me But there's still a bunch of me Like a seed in the breeze... You can kill and devour me But I will be a sour pea A song in a flower seed You can't stop me
No Lift 02:26
No Lift That's it! I'm through waiting That's it! It’s the time for taking That's it! I'm done with this I can't get no lift On the corner with a sign waiting for someone to be kind But I don't get anywhere The more they got the less they care Well that's it… Downtown with an itchy brain Scrounging around to easy my pain Ain't got no medicine Dr Hack Saw please let us in Well that's it… I’ve been standing on the line just waiting for my time I’ve been hating for too long debating with a bomb Well that’s it…


released October 22, 2013

Neil Conway -vocals, guitar; stomps’n’claps(2), Percussionet(4)
Patrick Boyle - trumpet, lap steel, backups(1,4)
Dave Rowe - bass, backups(1,4)
Duane Andrews – lead guitar(1-4,6,8,9,12)
Andrew McCarthy – drums, congas(5)
Curtis Andrews - stomps’n’claps(2)
Colleen Power and Liz Solo- backups(4)
Steve Crewe - backups(10)

Written, arranged and produced by Neil Conway
Except "Hey Little Buddy" - traditional with lyrics by Neil Conway
Solos and improvisations by Duane Andrews and Patrick Boyle
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Neil Conway and Lee Tizzard, St. John's, Newfoundland, 2013
Artwork by Jose Gonzalez

Copyright 2013, Neil Conway (SOCAN)


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Neil Conway St John's, Newfoundland and Labrador

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